Have a question for the ombudsman?

Good! If you've got a question about secession, drop the Ex Unum, Pluribus Ombudsman a line.



You can contact him here.

Ask the EUP Ombudsman: Your Latin sucks!

Q. Dear Ombudsman: I've got a bone to pick with your Latin. Shouldn’t it be Ex Uno Plures? Or something else like that? Have you double-checked your declensions?

A. Thanks, smart aleck. The name of the movement sacrifices proper Latin for immediate communication. It is hoped that every American understands E Pluribus Unum to mean "Out of Many, One" - and that a simple switch of words will quickly communicate "Out of One, Many." A quick exchange of E for Ex emphasizes an idea of former-ness, or breaking up.

Do we have a better suggestion from within the movement? Feel free to comment with your corrected Latin, or a new suggestion.

Ask the EUP Ombudsman: In Defense of Oklahoma

Q. Dear EUP Ombudsman: Please excuse my disdain for your "new world order". For far too long we, the simple people of Oklahoma, have been living under the shadow of a far inferior state: Texas.

May I humbly suggest the following: The new nation of Oklahoma should include the following: North Texas, the 'good' part of Arkansas, and the Ozark region of Missouri. Thus making Oklahoma the center of a great new land. East Texas should be annexed to 'Soggy Bottom'. South Texas can be given back to Mexico. They see to own it anyway. Western Texas can be it's own nation. Waco can be the capital. It won't really matter, because Mexico will soon invade and take it over. That's fine. No one really cares.

Thank you for considering this plan of action. I think the world will be a safer place.

A. Thanks for your carefully considered objections to the plan. It's this kind of constructive feedback that will make Ex Unum, Pluribus! a success.

We also had our doubts about letting Texas remain in its current configuration. At the time, Tejanos didn't seem worth the trouble of subdividing. If anything, we thought their insular mindset might result in rejecting outlying areas of the state, anyway. However, I'll pass your suggestion on to the Board for detailed study.

Could you be more specific in what you're designating 'the good part' of Arkansas? Preliminary research has been unproductive. Thanks for your input.

Ask the EUP Ombudsman: Military?

Q. Dear EUP Ombudsman: What's the plan for the military?

A. Ex Unum Pluribus proposes that now is the time to take up arms against your oppressors.

Ask the EUP Ombudsman: Puerto Rico?

Q. Dear EUP Ombudsman: Has anybody considered Puerto Rico?

A. Self-determinance is the guiding principle of EUP. Puerto Rico may adjust its national affiliation (or lack thereof) as its people see fit. Similar outlying territories (excluding those used primarily for military purposes) will be treated in a similar manner.

Ask the EUP Ombudsman: Regarding Maine

Q. Maine is undoubtedly a complicated matter when considering the balkanization of our nation. As a resident of southern Maine I can tell you there is a great division and some tension between the rural north and the more cosmopolitan south of our state. This is also where the confusion likely arises regarding our national loyalties, as the farther north one travels, the more more Canadian one's surroundings become. But, as a resident of southern Maine I am heartbroken to see my land so easily discarded as a Canadian province. I assure you, we who truly reside in the "Cote D'Atlantique" would sooner give our allegiance to Boston than to Ottawa.

- Patrick McGorrill

A. Duly noted, Patrick. Perhaps we should develop a special listing of not-easily assigned states? In the meantime, I'd encourage anyone with such strong opinions to draw up a counter-proposal! Ex Unum, Pluribus! welcomes all discussion about how we can best divide ourselves amicably.

Ask the EUP Ombudsman: What about currency?

Q. Dear EUP Ombudsman: How will currency work? Should we share the dollar, like the europeans have the euro?

A. Most of the new nations plan to adopt the dollar as an international currency, regulated by an international governing body. Cote D'Atlantique will use Canadian currency. Dakota also has an alternate plan, detailed elsewhere.